Today, before I was headed off to the gym and scrambling around my messy house looking for my son’s boot and his hat, I was listening to the TV and stopped. There was a woman on there, a mother of two, who was begging for attention from her husband. When I say begging, it wasn’t like she was holding her thoughts inside; she would cry and tell her husband that he needs to validate her every single day. She was a very pretty woman so I was bewildered. I kept on listening and this woman became a stay at home mom and she “loved it.” So what was the problem? She thought her husband looked down on her because she didn’t have a “real job.” From what was being said, her husband never once said those words to her and actually said that he was grateful that she stayed home with them to take care of the kids. This led me to assume that maybe she didn’t really believe what she was doing was fulfilling enough for her, or that people looked down on her and she was insecure about it. Naturally, during my workout I pondered this scenario for a bit.
First and foremost, if you love yourself then you do not need validation from anyone. Validation is nice every once in a while, sure, just to know you are appreciated, but it should not be necessary. Being a stay at home mom, there are no tangible rewards. You do not get a raise or promotion for a job well done, you do not get paid, you do not get breaks, you do not get a “good job” from the boss, etc. There is none of that. But if you love what you do, then none of that matters; those are just added bonuses. If your children grow up to be respectful, polite, and hard working individuals, that is the reward. You learning about how to have patience and explain information in such a way to little but expanding minds so that they can learn is the reward. You being there for them learning to hold their head up, crawl, smile, hold their own bottle, walk, talk, etc; that is the reward. Having faith in yourself that you can have multiple tasks to accomplish which seem impossible and somehow you accomplish them because you have super powers is the reward. These are the things you must see, whether you’re a stay at home mom or dad, or even a working parent.
Raising a child(ren) is difficult. When I was younger I dreamed of being a rock star, professional sports star, and a psychiatrist. I’ve had plenty of jobs in the real world since I was 16, and being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had. Between raising your child, cleaning, working (if you work), cooking, packing lunches, making bottles, doing laundry, making time for yourself, making time for your significant other; it almost seems impossible. Even if you don’t accomplish EVERYTHING, if you are there for yourself first and foremost, then you can be there for your family; and that is the biggest accomplishment of all.