woman looking at herself in mirror wearing a dress

Being a woman can oftentimes feel like an unfair struggle. We gain weight faster and lose it more slowly then men. We are at the constant mercy of our ever changing hormones and the impossible mood swings they uncover. We must be soft enough to play mommy but hard enough to get what we want out of our careers. We rarely have any time for ourselves, mostly because we feel guilty if we take it, and in a world where youth and beauty are idolized, even the most gorgeous of women can feel as if their best days are light years behind them when faced with the likes of an airbrushed supermodel. The truth is that beauty really does lie in the eye of the beholder; once you see yourself as such, you’ll be amazed by what else can happen.

Change what you can and embrace what you cannot. If you look in the mirror and recognize that you have a few pounds to lose, then by all means, make efforts to lose them. Aside from looking better, exercise will also improve your overall health and your sex drive; however, be realistic with your goals. If you’re a curvy woman by nature or you’re 5’3,” no workout in the world is going to transform you into a Victoria Secret model. If you’re curvy, be curvy; use your hips and breasts to your advantage. If you’re tall and lean, embrace it; showcase those racehorse legs or those lean arms. Every woman has areas which she can improve upon, but we are all meant to look different. Stop trying to be someone you see in a magazine and just work on being the best version of you that you can be.

Take time to get dolled up. So many mothers rush through their getting ready routine and forget to make themselves a priority. Often times, you can create a mood in which you feel beautiful and confident simply by taking the time to work on your appearance. Sure, when the kids need to get off to school there is no shame in throwing on your sweats and sporting a pony tail. However, when date night comes around, take the time and really get ready. Do your hair in your sexiest style, put on that makeup that makes your best features pop. Pick out that sexy dress that you almost forgot you even had. Even adding some perfume can take you out of mommy mode and make you feel like a sexy woman. You spend so many hours of the day tending to other people’s wants and needs, that there is no shame in claiming one or two of them for yourself from time to time.

woman putting on makeup

Learn how to dress your body. You may think that a dress is just a dress and it doesn’t really matter which one you choose, but the power of the right fit cannot be overstated. Most women, especially those who are more on the curvy side, shy away from a good fit and rely on big and baggy clothing to hide their bodies. Wearing clothing that accentuates the good things while disguising the not-so-good things is always helpful. Wear shorter skirts if you have great legs. Use fitted jackets or belts to cinch the waist and create an hourglass look, and stick to solid colors versus patterns if you are trying to streamline. Thinner women can use patterns to their advantage to add volume, and for those women who are not so well endowed, take the time to formally introduce yourself to a good push up bra. Even the right pair of high heels can create wardrobe magic by lengthening your legs and boosting your sexy spirit.

Learn to make sex sexier. Oftentimes, women get to a point where sex begins to feel like a chore. In a day full of to-do lists, sex can feel like one more thing that you have to check off rather than the amazing connection and release that it actually is. Take some time to prepare yourself for sex. Relax, take a bath or maybe slip out of your day-to-day PJ’s and into something sexier. Instead of jumping right in an effort to get it over with, take some time for foreplay. Feel how your lover’s touch brushes against your curves and notice the look of desire in his eyes as you undress. If he tells you that you’re beautiful or remarks about how sexy you are, don’t argue; accept the compliment with confidence. Sure, the light may still accentuate your cellulite and nope, not even those clip-in extensions make you look just like Gisele Bundchen, but who cares? You are still sexy and amazing.

So remember, ladies: the power of a woman’s beauty and sexuality doesn’t always reside in a flawless appearance; it is often found in the sensuality of her touch, the desire in her voice, the curves of her face and the movement of her body. You are only as beautiful as you believe you are. Own up to the title and you’ll leave little room for argument.