Not sure anyone understands the analogy (back on the wagon again), but I think I know what it might mean.  They use the analogy for addicts mostly, and what is more appropriate than an addiction analogy for food.  I mean, really.  I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with food; I didn’t hide food or anything but ever since I can remember, the way I ate was never really the proper way.  I either would eat too much (usually all at once) or too little, and many times it is that cycle that keeps people overweight and frustrated.  When I started really examining the problems I had internally, I realized that the way I ate (along with many other things in my life) would be a direct mirror of how I was feeling on the inside.  This will probably always be the case somewhat, but now that I realize that, I’ve got a much better grasp on the situation than I used to.

With that said, I may understand it better and am better able to manage the issues, but there will always be small problems with this that come up occasionally… it’s not prominent really, but more like shadows of the issues that made me overweight that still lurk in those dark crevices in my mind.  When I go through hard times or am overly stressed, those shadows seem to become larger and when I have weak moments, they try to take over.

Life gives you lemons sometimes and I love lemonade (especially with a little patron added) but I don’t always find the positive in situations, as I’m sure everyone has their moments as well.  With that said, I have been going through a hard month or so, and it took it’s toll on me.  I went back into some of my old habits and got soft around the middle.  I was good enough that I didn’t collapse back into the ‘old’ me but I could definitely say that I would have easily slipped further down if I didn’t notice the scale creeping back up.  Now, a few pounds will not kill you… in fact, it’s usually water retention from sodium or whatever but this wasn’t a few pounds… it was 5.  Five pounds is pretty much when you know what you’ve been doing isn’t just water weight or monthly ebs and flows, but it’s an actual change.  Now, some people will say it is probably muscle, but I know it wasn’t… I didn’t look or feel “tighter” and my clothes weren’t fitting more flattering or anything… it wasn’t muscle weight addition, it was “fluff”.  I refuse to have gone this far in my journey to allow myself to go back down that road again, so I decided to kick it back into gear.

My circumstances aren’t always going to be ideal, but I do know that when I take care of my “insides”, my mind is easier to handle the stress.  It’s hard to think of “more work” as actually helping me, but it will and it does.  I got back to what works for me.  I actually eat more during the day when I eat properly.  Amazing how that works, I eat more and weigh less…

So, I’m back on my clean eating for about a week now, and I have to say I totally feel better. My food is not 100% clean (never has and never will be). I like my occasional drink and I love my occasional PB cup, but overall I have done great… and guess what, I lost a pound. Doesn’t sound like a lot, I know… but it takes a LOT of work to lose a pound (a 3,500 calorie deficit). Let me tell ya though… it’s not really the pound, but the way I feel and the change I can see in just a week of getting back to the way “I eat” that helps re-ignite my focus. 😀

Here’s the thing… it’s not ‘IF’ you fall off the wagon, but ‘WHEN’, and sometimes it feels harder to get back on it (because by then it’s moving faster) than it did to get on it in the first place, but once you do, you’ll be even more determined after you get a small taste of that success again 🙂

Considering that I lost a pound during a still very stressful week for me and that it was also a holiday week (and I had an “off” day for the 4th), I believe a pound is a HUGE achievement.  I celebrate every success because I know that a pound will eventually add up to 5 and then 10 and then eventually I’ll be at another HUGE goal.

So, what are your recent successes?  What do you need help with on your workout/diet?  Sound off!  We’re happy to hear your feedback and questions.