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Sex should be fairly simple. When my husband and I were first married it was simple. Ten years and four children later, sex went from simple to complicated and yes, even nonexistent. With the changes in sex, my husband and I went from being a couple to being parents to being roommates. The act of sex was still simple enough, but without passion driving us, sex had become somewhat of a chore. My husband and I decided we wanted more, deserved more and began working together to enhance the sizzle in our marriage. With open minds, a sense of adventure and yes, a sense of humor we had a few fails, but found one surefire win that has helped us keep the spice and the passion alive.


Hotels: I kid you not. I used to think hotels were for weary travelers, but now believe they are for weary spouses. You know what I hated about dating my husband? Going home! Three hours of laughing, talking and flirting was over the minute we walked through the door to our home. Kids demand attention, the sitter needs to be paid, the house is a wreck and it seemed like real life just killed any desire my husband and I are spent the last three hours trying to rekindle. Hotels ended all of that. Hotels offer sanctuary, service and privacy for the creating the perfect intimate get away for couples.

Sanctuary: Beautiful room, housekeeping, room service, gym, pool, spa, do I need to go on? Hotels are usually centered among unique restaurants and night life. The simple change of scenery can refresh energies. Plus, what’s better than someone else in charge of cleaning after you for a change? Leave your room to come back with the bed made and chocolates on your pillow? Does it get better than that? A couple can use the hotel to entertain or to keep them relaxed, but either way hotels never leave you wanting.

Time out: Focus entirely on you and your spouse. As adults we play out many roles. From “Mom” to “coworker” to “caregiver” to “helper of homework.” Stepping out of these roles allows your mind permission to relieve yourself of life’s other responsibilities. This is the perfect time to reconnect and refresh with your spouse. Without being on anyone’s time schedule, it’s amazing how much time there is in one day! You can talk, plan, reprioritize, watch movies and yes, eat in bed, and all without one interruption!

>> Read more: How to Get What You Finally Want in the Bedroom

Privacy: This is where the spice comes to play. The combination of relaxation and freedom from responsibilities creates the perfect environment for intimacy. You and your spouse have now had uninterrupted time to turning your brain off and tuning in to one another. I know as a woman I crave emotional intimacy in order to move to sexual intimacy with my husband. My husband is quite the opposite of me and desires sexual intimacy first in order to connect emotionally with me. The hotel getaway helped us fulfill both of our desires. A hotel room in all of its beauty and privacy also allows a couple to be creative. Remember, there aren’t any kids knocking on the door at a hotel. Surprise your husband by buying and (yes, wearing) new lingerie, bring exotic massaging oils, have a favorite wine to share and allow your husband to surprise you with what he finds romantic and sexy.

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Tips to ensure a Great Hotel Getaway

Money: I know right now you might be thinking about the money involved in a hotel getaway. The hotel itself, the money for the sitter, the lingerie. If I may for a moment challenge you to stop seeing all these as an expense and has an investment for a healthy, passionate marriage. Planning ahead can help ease the financial commitment. Start off with one night every few months.

Hotels: This may go without saying but I will say it anyways. Do not book at a family-friendly hotel! It’s hard to relax and think sexy with a bunch of screaming kids! Hence, the hotel getaway!

Communication: My husband and I have a “hotel” list of activities we do. For instance, maybe we treat ourselves to a massage for him and pedicure for me. We also have a list of activities we like to do behind closed doors specifically at the hotel. With open and honest communication you two can plan and surprise one another accordingly to the boundaries you have both agreed upon.

>> Read more: 7 Tips for Better Communication

Life is hectic: It’s important to stop every now and then and simply enjoy it. My husband and I had drifted so far apart from one another at one time it seemed like the next logical step was divorce. We could have justified divorce by saying we fell out of love, it wasn’t working anymore and it just got too hard. In an attempt to what we thought was just saving our marriage turned out to be a rediscovery of the love and excitement that attracted us to each other in the first place. Sure, we both weren’t the same people we married, but we learned in some ways that was good. The good parts along the way that got lost, we got to find again. The not so good parts, we decided to mend them together. Spicing up the marriage is the result of creativity, respect and adventure. Book a hotel and surprise your hubby today. Your marriage is worth it. Your husband is worth it. You are worth it!