With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, clearly l ‘amour is in the air and it is finally time to toss your inhibitions to the wind and bring on the romance! However, for many couples the question is, how? To help solve your romance dilemmas and make the most of your Valentine’s Day this year, we’ve enlisted the queen

Pure Romance CEO, Patty Brisben

of romance herself, Pure Romance CEO Patty Brisben!

To begin, let’s discuss perhaps the biggest dilemma when trying to get your romance on…TIME! While one may think making time for love would be easy on a holiday dedicated to its existence, any mom will tell you that after a full day of work, play dates, errands and baths, nothing sounds less appealing than having ONE MORE thing to do.  Patty’s advice for breaking this cycle is to simply make the time. It may take some of the fantasy out of it all, but much like meetings, meal plans and workouts, in a busy household it’s often best to schedule time for love making as well. Whether this means planning ahead of time to take the kids to grandmas or simply making bed time 30 minutes earlier that night, the importance of penciling in your loved one should go without saying. “The best gift you could ever give your children is seeing you living well, both individually and as a couple,” Patty says. “If you find yourself not wanting to make the time (for sex and intimacy), you probably need to dig deep down and figure out what you are avoiding.”

For those couples who have dedicated an evening (or at least found a way to steal a few hours) for some one on one action, Patty suggests using this time to build on communication and intimacy. Open communication about fantasies and desires is the best way to begin, but you can certainly broaden your sexual horizons by introducing couple’s games such as Pure Romance’s 52 Weeks of Naughty Nights or Date Night. As Patty explains, “The action cards (included in the games) help give you the permission you need to ask for what you want and it happens in a fun way.” If you’re not quite ready to tackle some naughty nights, a simple massage can be enough to begin bridging the tattered intimacy gap between two people.

Now let’s say that you’ve made the time, the romantic juices are flowing but you’re feeling like you need a bit more wood on the fire (no pun intended!) For many couples this means introducing some adult toys. While generally speaking, most women are open to the exploration of such products, men on the other hand often tend to shy away. Patty suggests that in this situation, you begin with the more modest products such as the games and massage oils and then slowly sprinkle in the more erotic ones. The most important thing to remember here is to keep the lines of communication open. Be certain the mood is set, distractions have been eliminated and you’ve educated yourself on the products. Ease your partner into new products slowly and pay attention to how they respond to them.

Some of the new Pure Romance products that Patty suggests giving a whirl are ones from the new Diamond Collection. “As a whole, the entire line oozes luxury, making bedroom toys that are more upscale than traditional bedroom accessories,” Patty says. “Each vibrator is very discreet in design, and one of my favorite attributes is that each toy warms to your own body temperature – taking the whole experience to yet another level of personable!”

As if finding time and rekindling flames weren’t enough to sour the taste of romance, self-confidence is often another obstacle in a woman’s way. Whether it is weight gain, stretch marks or additional badges of motherhood that bother you, many women struggle to truly feel sexy after childbirth. This often leads to avoidance of sex altogether, and can have a very negative impact on your relationship. Patty’s advice for bringing your sexy back is to, “Be the CEO of YOU, INC.” She suggests taking care of yourself before you even begin to attend to your mate’s wants and needs. This me time she speaks of, can range from taking a bubble bath to fitting in a workout to taking a power nap, or whatever it takes to transform you from a self conscious mama into a confident and sexy woman for the evening. She urges women to remember that sexy isn’t all in the appearance. True sexuality starts in the mind; change your thinking and everything else will follow.

Now let’s tackle yet another intimacy blocker… CANCER. For some cancer survivors, intercourse itself is impossible, while for others it goes much deeper than just the physical, as the after affects of surgery or treatment leave many women feeling as if they have lost that part of them forever. Patty Brisben begs to differ. Patty’s dedication to women’s sexuality among cancer survivors can be seen in her Pure Romance mission known as, Sensuality, Sexuality and Survival. This mission provides cancer survivors with educational materials, resources, consultants and even products specifically designed for women following cancer diagnosis and treatment.  Patty believes that cancer survivors can rekindle intimacy; it simply takes an openness to try. “It’s important to rebuild your sex life around other forms of intimacy, as a big part of enjoying sex post-cancer requires redefining sex.” Patty goes on to suggest adding some spontaneity to your sexual routine by mixing up the times of day and places you make love. If after making efforts to regain intimacy you still find reconnecting impossible, she suggests speaking with a professional. As mentioned above, sexuality begins in the mind so remember, if you’re head isn’t in the game, your body cannot be either.

At the end of the day no matter how you plan it, Valentine’s Day is truly about love and connecting with your partner. It is a day that should serve as a sounding board for you and your partner to discuss fantasies as well as physical and emotional needs.  The day should be used as a reminder to rekindle and revamp what you have allowed to fizzle, to discover new possibilities and to rediscover old ones. So whether your Valentine’s Day plans include a simple date night or your own special brand of naughty, take the time to make it a great one this year!

If you are in the Cincinnati area, we encourage you to check out the Pure Romance Valentine’s Day Warehouse Sale. The sale runs February 8-14, and is the only time of the year that you and your partner can explore all that Pure Romance has to offer up-close and in person. All of the products are on display and consultants are on site to answer questions. For those of you who are not in the Greater Cincinnati area, products can either be ordered online through www.PureRomance.com or by contacting a local consultant.