First of all, I love pictures like this! They light a fire under me and get me motivated to DO MORE! That’s why I was truly shocked by the negative reactions to this photo when it was recently featured on a fitness page I follow on Facebook!
The photo is of Maria Kang…business owner, fitness enthusiast, wife, and mother of three. She posted the picture of herself and her three boys along with the caption “What’s your excuse?” It was meant to be fun and motivational, but it quickly became obvious not everyone agreed…
~ Some commented that it just made them feel bad about how they look.
~ Some took it as an accusation that because they don’t look like that after having kids, they must be lazy.
~ Others made assumptions about Maria…she must have a nanny, she must have a lot of money, she must spend all her time working out instead of with her kids…
Even if they didn’t agree with the caption on her photo, it made me very sad to see so many other women…other mothers…feel the need to “trash talk” someone who was simply trying to motivate other people.
But it also got me thinking…do photos like this do more harm than good? Can fitness photos like this, that are meant to be inspiring, actually cause more negative feelings than positive/motivational feelings?
What do you think? Does a photo of a fit mom like this inspire you??
For Maria’s take on the reactions to her photo, check out her blog! For another Real Fit Mom fitness photo, check out Fitness Diva’s post, Pregnancy is NOT the End of Fitness.
Photos such as this one of Maria Kang and her 3 boys totally motivate me, but then I am also dedicated to my health and fitness. I get up at 3:00am every weekday morning so that I can get my workout in and out of the way before getting my son to school and myself to work. My weeknights and weekends are completely booked up with homework assignments, school projects, and my son’s endless sporting events. I also see to it that I eat healthy by spending time on Sunday mornings (after 7am Mass & breakfast with my family) going grocery shopping and preparing healthy lunches and snacks for my work week. I never leave my house without a cooler packed with “clean” eats. These are all the choices I’ve made for myself… because my family deserves a fit and happy mother and wife.
With that being said, yes, I do believe photos such as this can cause negative feelings in those who “won’t” commit to a healthy and fit lifestyle. Notice I said “won’t”. I did this because I have heard every excuse in the book as to why busy mothers “won’t” exercise or eat healthy. Get real, ladies! Excuses are just that… excuses. Get past them and get healthy today. You and you alone are the only obstacle to making your weight loss, fitness, and health dreams come to fruition!
Holla for 7am Masses!!
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Best time for keeping tots quiet
I agree! Your negative feelings may just stem from realizing that you have chosen not to invest in your health and fitness and what a waste! Yes it requires time and A LOT of dedication, but the choice is yours. Also if this woman chose to spend her money on childcare for the time she works out, WHO CARES??? Do her kids look sad and neglected? Who knows? Point is be happy with yourself, don’t judge others and carry on!
That is so true I have two boys and I had a c-section it took me five months before I could jump and push myself like I’m use to. It didn’t stop me from walking five miles a day and working out slowly. I blog for myself I’m eating clean and nothing stops me. My hubby supports me everyday.
I think that this picture is incredible! If (when?) I have children, I think staying the best me I can be (which I’m still working to get to), will be the best gift I can possibly give them. It always upsets me when people have negative reactions to others who work hard for their bodies and lives. I think they are the ones who need self-reflections, not people like Maria who are confident and healthy. Why do they feel bad about how they look? If they feel so bad, why aren’t they working to change it? If they are working, how isn’t this an inspiration for what is possible with hard work? I am 24, have no kids and don’t look like that, but I’m working my a** off to get there. Does it make me feel lazy? Heavens no. It just reminds me that with dedication and (do I need to say it again?!) WORK, it is beyond achievable to have the body you want. Thank you for posting this and sorry for my mini-rant (there may be more in my blog later…). SPA LOVE!
Not offensive! Very motivating. Lets celebrate her success!! She looks awesome!
I find the photo motivating and definitely inspiring. It makes me stop making excuses! I’m a mom and I absolutely feel that taking a hour a day to focus on my health is important to me and my kids. Being healthy & fit is important and a great way to show your kids that being healthy and fit is important without being obsessive about it.
This photo shouldn’t upset anyone! If you are truly happy with yourself, lifestyle and your current health and fitness plan then this shouldn’t cause a negative reaction. At the end of the day you have to be happy in your shoes!
I’m not a mother, but I think a photo like this is great INSPIRATION and MOTIVATION, for not just Moms, but all women. She’s strong, beautiful, healthy, and the mother of 3 boys. I want to give her a jumping high-five! She ROCKS and negative comments from other women is embarrassing and disheartening. Women should embrace this beautiful woman!
I think the picture by itself without the headline would have been very motivating. Adding the “what’s your excuse” makes it seem like she is shaming other moms for not being in ridiculously good shape 8 months after having a baby (which is what I’m assuming given that the youngest kid in the picture is 8 months). If I were a mom (which I’m not) and I was 8 months post-baby and maybe dealing with some issues (post-partum for example) and I saw this? Not motivating, it would make me feel bad about myself. Again, it’s not the image of the mom with the 3 kids, it’s adding the “what’s your excuse” that turns it from motivational to offensive.
Wow, I completely agree with that the headline is unnecessary. In fact, I’m 8 1/2 months post baby and have been trying so hard to lose weight. So far I’ve lost 25lbs of non-baby weight but am still a work in progress. The headline really made me feel bad about myself and my own progress. Sigh…
I think it is a great picture for motivation. It is sad that people have to be soo negative about everything. I am 40 with a 4 and 6 yr old and am in the best shape of my life right now. I think most of the negative people are just jealous. They think it comes easier for others and grant it, it does for some but it also requires hard work with exercise and healthy eating. I say “you go mom!!! You look fabulous and should show it off and be proud”. For the negative people “get to work because that is what it takes”.
I am 40 with a 6 and 4 year old also and I can say I am in the best shape of my life now too! Well said Tisha, rock on!
She absolutely inspires and motivates me! Women like her give me that push I sometimes need to take that hour and get my workout in at night, when all I really want to do is veg in front of the TV. I work 10 hours days. I do not get home from work until 6pm and my daughter’s bedtime is 8pm. Needless to say, I’m a little tired at the end of the day.
It’s a real shame that jealousy and low self-esteem can cause people to become so hateful and disrespectful towards others. Instead of having the state of mind, “I want what you have, and until I have it, you shouldn’t have it either” people should consider that if they put forth the work and have the determination and dedication that this woman obviously has then they too can look and feel better about their selves.
I see photos like this and think, “Good for her. She’s at the top of her game. I want to be at the top of my game, too.” Photos like this don’t tell me anything about myself or make me feel good or bad about myself. Photos like this tell me about her, that she has made priorities and worked hard. I wouldn’t say it inspires me, but it doesn’t anger me either.
We all have our own fitness journey and our own demons to deal with, so we shouldn’t compare ourselves, but I know that’s hard not to do. Every time I see an image of a woman with a rockin body I have to remind myself that, while she looks great, her body is unique to her, and my body will not look like that even at my peak fitness, because my body is unique to me.
There will always be someone ahead of you and someone behind you. Be challenged by those ahead and be an example to those behind. We shouldn’t hate on someone else because they have already succeeded at something we are still working on, like being in really ridiculously good shape. At the same time, we shouldn’t assume that other’s can get to the place we are at the same way that we got there.
Photos like this may inspire some people. If it doesn’t, just ignore it. Don’t ever be angered or upset by someone else’s progress or success. The success of others does not make you a failure.
I totally find it inspirational – but then I believe in the power of choice. I believe it is very very rare for someone to be truly helpless with their lot in life.
God helps those who help themselves.
Fitness is hard, there is no way around it! Without sounding totally insensitive and unkind to women who just are not there yet, I am very tired of being treated like I’m “lucky” and “it comes naturally” when I know I have worked so hard to get where I am and continue to work daily to challenge myself more!
I agree with Erin who said it’s the title, not the picture, that can be taken the wrong way. I’d rather see a title like, “Amazing Results Can Happen with Hard Work and Dedication.” “What’s Your Excuse?” really does come across as if there’s something wrong with other mothers if they can’t achieve this look.
It does both. It inspires me and makes me jealous. I also have 3 children. I was fairly thin before kids- I am not heavy but I certainly do not look like she does- I couldn’t imagine having that kind of body 8 months after giving birth. I am going on 5 years since my last baby and am trying to exercise and lose that extra flab. I think it is awesome for her to do that. For me I do have excuses….I don’t have time for a gym…too busy with the kids. Would I like to be her? HELL YEAH! But will I be? Nah. But kudos for her for doing it.
This is a great photo! I think it is giving moms (and all women) the message that it is okay to do something for yourself and stay fit. As a mom to a toddler who ran through pregnancy and continues to make it a priority in my life I get a lot of comments on how I am neglecting my child, housework etc. Maybe I don’t focus 100% on that stuff but running and staying fit makes me a better mother and shows my daughter a great example. I hated all the “just wait” comments when pregnant about how I would never have my body again, stop running, etc. I feel like I proved that I could do it and think I actually look better now then I did 5 years ago pre-kids.
It was very inspiring to me. IF you want to be fit you will make the time.
End of discussion. I have 3 kids and I let myself go, but with a few changes and exercise, I have been able to get down 15 lbs now in 2 months. And I will keep at it! I deserve 1 hr a day for me. What a true inspiration she is, the best part is that she looks like she has to be eatting healthy and she will pass that down to her kids and those eatting habbits will follow them for life.
In 2 months I have changed my whole families life. Everyone now eat fruits and veggies, NO more Junk! No More processed food. It’s the best thing a mom could do for herself and her child.
If a person feels bad about themselves seeing this picture, they need to do something about it. It’s not her fault that she thinks about what she puts in her mouth first. Maybe alot more people should be like that so they could be here longer on this earth for there children. This really gets me upself. She is awesome, looks awesome, and has really inspired me! I will continue to keep at it and in a few months I will do a similar picture with my kids. Kuddos to this mom! Enjoy life~
This picture *absolutely* motivated me! I am the type of person who needs a swift kick in the butt to cause me to wake up. I hate that other women, mothers, fellow sisters in the fight with health would allow their own insecurities, jealousy and pre-concieved ideas take away the discipline and determination of Maria. I’ve said this on other sites regarding this same controversy: the reason women are upset with her is because she called them out on the excuses and people don’t like to be called out. When people get called out, they immediately attempt to justify the reasons why they aren’t as fit as Maria or make up reasons why she is. It is easy for all of us to grow jaded to the reasons we hold ourselves back. “Oh it’s because I’m tired” “I had a baby (5 years ago!) and it’s to be expected that some baby weight sticks around”. So many women are told to be happy with their selves, which is a great message; however, the message needs to also include a charge to women to not settle for less than their best! Be happy in your own skin BUT don’t accept defeat and don’t accept any less than your PERSONAL best. Aim for it and go for it. It’s not easy but the best things in life are rarely easy!
I think that “Whats your excuse” means that you TO can have it all! kids and a healthy fit body.Everyone has the same amount of time in a day,it is how you choose to use that time.I MAKE time to train,also I MAKE time for my kids and family.I think that this is nothing than others that are lost and don’t know where to start!
I think it is a great photo. I think she should be proud of herself and her accomplishments. I also ‘get’ that it was meant to be motivational and inspirational and the photo alone would be.
Personally, I have no issue with the caption.
That being said, the “What’s your excuse?” is an approach that immediately puts people on the defensive.
Again, I ‘get’ it…but as Mom’s we already have this genetic guilt thing lurking in our system and as much as we try not to (and say that we don’t), we often compare ourselves to others.
Even looking at it in a tough love kind of way, it still gives the self esteem a kick in the pants.
Depending on who you are and how you feel about your self already, this picture could definitely cause a variety of reactions!
When you put an image like this out there, because it touches on such a personal topic for so many, it will bring about a variety of different reactions. Some of the negativity is unfortunate, some of it I can understand. Our society is fairly sensitive to images of “perfect” women…that’s just how it is thanks to advertising and Hollywood, etc. But that’s where our own personal selves come into play. It’s up to us to respond to our interpretations with honesty and truth. How does this image really offend someone…is it the image, or what the image represents as applied to the person viewing it? For me, I saw nothing but her abs the very first time I looked at it…and because I see so many abs in magazines these days, I barely gave the image a second thought. Then I looked closer and read the headlines…as a mother of an infant, and as someone who works out regularly…I still am not bothered. To each is own, I guess. Kudos to us all for living our lives in ways we, ourselves can be proud of. Because really, that’s all that matters.
I have no issues with the photo itself, it’s awesome that she’s rockin that bod after three kids. The caption is a little harsh, I think. It comes off almost accusatory, which is why I think so many people are getting upset and defensive. If she had captioned it something like “I did it and so can you” or “anyone can get fit after having kids”, something that’s more inclusive rather than critical, than I think it would have gotten less negative response… although there’s always, unfortunately, going to be haters.
It’s a great photo and congrats to any mother who is able to maintain a fitness regime. Someone mentioned the question, “What’s your excuse?” as an issue. People interpret language so much differently than they do an image. Then, you combine the two and it could be problematic. Personally, I don’t find it problematic at all. I find it quite inspiring, actually. It reminds me that I can take that 10 minutes and take a walk or 20 minutes to do yoga. Shoot…if a mother of three young kids can do, I can too! Also, I recognize, I don’t have her body and never will because I completely different and have to accept my body for what it is and is not. Again, it’s just a great source of inspiration…that’s all.
I agree with Erin. The photo is beautiful and could be very inspiring. The caption changes that and makes it sound accusatory, like hey, lazy, what’s your excuse?
Kudos to Maria. She must work HARD. I work hard on fitness and am no where near that. The issue I think a lot of mothers are having is that there is an unfair expectation put on women to look a certain way. One that men don’t have to deal with. You look at celebrities 2 months after having a baby and they are already back into their size 0-2 jeans. I think a lot of women find that impossible to live up to. After having a baby you are exhausted, emotional and over-whelmed. For many of us, getting back into the gym is the last thing on our minds.
I think this photo is motivating and terrific but I can see how many women feel this is sending an unfair message to them about what you are supposed to look post partum. It’s not realistic.
I like the photo and think it is inspiring also. Being healthy takes time and hard work but it is not impossible. Everyone has a busy life, but it is working through that because you want it without finding excuses that matters.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”, so I have to assume anyone who reacts negatively to that picture already has some negative internal dialogue. If you really are giving 100% a picture isn’t going to shame you, but if you know you don’t give it your all…..
I am the author of the blog that took issue with the caption. I never attacked her, but I take serious issue with the caption, and the undercurrent of “skinny” that permeates our culture.
All women are beautiful, at all sizes.
Julie DeNeen – I’m not familiar with you or your blog, I’m sorry. My article was based on negative comments that were made on a fitness page I follow on Facebook…not your blog.
Julie, no they are not. You keep telling yourself that.
If you could be thinner and healthier, would you? The answer is yes. So what is stopping you? I bet it’s an excuse. I read one woman say “I like to spend quality time with my kids. That’s why.” REALLY? So she is saying Maria doesn’t spend quality time with her kids? I think the reality is that she does do everything the best she can and her best blows away most women. So, in turn, those women make excuses or TRY and use a moral high horse to shield the fact that they are not willing to do HALF what Maria does.
I can understand how some would feel threatened by this. Focusing on the caption, it can seem like, as you mentioned, some moms aren’t doing enough. We, as mothers, know how hard it is to do everything that needs to be done. While I’m not offended by this (motivated/encouraged is more like it) I think the caption could have been a little different. Just to have a more encouraging feel to it rather than accusatory. Something like “If I can do it so can you!”
It’s a really interesting topic. I don’t have kids, for a start! I also truly believe this photo was put up with the right intentions, and there really isn’t any need to criticise her as a person.
I’m such a perfectionist that I don’t find this motivating – to me it looks like something that would make me feel anxious, upset, not good enough, and too fat. I see these images as a ‘you’e not trying hard enough’, even though I eat cleanly and train 6 days a week (clocking up 70 odd km and adding weights sessions).
For those of use with negative self-image, a picture like this is devastating – I already work my butt off, and it’s still not enough? How much more do I have to give up? Where’s the balance? I might go and cut some more calories…
On the flip side, some people are going to get a huge boost from it, so I guess it comes down to the individual.
Joan has it right in my opinion. I hear so many people use children as an excuse to not be healthy. “My kids are my life and I enjoy being with then instead of at the gym”. “We are so busy running around for the kids activities that I can’t put good healthy meals on the table”. To me these are just excuses in disguise.
I am a mom of 3 very active children and I choose to put my health and Firness on the top of the list of this to do everyday because its important to me.
In my opinion the
Problem is that people feel like bashing someone else instead of looking at themselves and asking if they truly are happy with what they are doing and where they are at. Excuses fly all to free when it comes to not being fit and not putting good food in our mouths. I think the picture and the caption is awesome!
http://gooddaysacramento.cbslocal.com/video/7797181-fit-mom-photo-inspiring-or-insulting/
The caption is really sassy, and I can imagine I’d feel angered by it if I was a mother. It’s too accusatory and confrontational. It should say something like “It IS possible!” or something, because the photo, in and of itself, is actually quite inspirational. I do not have children, and I will admit a huge reason is that I am terrified of what it will do to my body. Seeing this woman makes me feel like everything will be all right!
This photo is inspiring because it show’s that if a busy mother of three can be fit and healthy then it’s possible for the rest of us!
I don’t find it offensive, but it is a little disheartening. Motivational would be more like: you can do it too.
I am a little under 6 mos post c sec. I was not allowed to work out or even use my abdominal muscles for 6 weeks. and after that it is still slow going. I cannot even do a push up on my knees yet. I am using the wall. I wear out super fast, even during warm up. The baby doesn’t sleep through the night so I am always exhausted.
I am not as dedicated as I should be, but I would much rather see encouragement and a link to a website like this that gives advice on ways to make it work.
The slogan could have been a little more sensitive I suppose. I don’t find it insulting, but then again I don’t have low self worth either.
I think it’s easy to become demotivated while striving for a better body. Some days are going to be harder than others. it’s important for moms not to think less of themselves while working towards a better self.
On a side note, the woman has obviously had a personal trainer, and that is money that a lot of moms can’t afford to spend, especially with the added financial strains babies bring, such as diapers, not being at work, formula etc. So it isn’t entirely fair to say every mom can look like she does
I can say they weight loss is atleast 70% of what you put in your body. So moms out there, if weight loss is your goal, remember to start in the kitchen. You probably want to keep your calories to no more than 1500 a day.
I’m not surprised that people were offended by this picture, but I am not, and I don’t think it should offend people. As a person who cares about health, fitness, and who generally leads a very active and conscious lifestyle, this is motivational.
I saw a picture of a person who was physically handicapped (he lost his legs and was wearing prosthetic legs) with this caption. I believe he was running a marathon or a half marathon, if I remember correctly. The people who commented on the photo were saying things to the effect of, “Great for you!” and “Wow, that’s amazing.” What makes that image less offensive than this woman? She’s working through something natural that happened to her, and he was learning to walk again.
I didn’t think anything negative about her. Good for her, great for her, get down with her bad self. Although, yeah… the logo did make me think of all the things that have tore my body down over the last 15 years. None of these reasons really are excuses, just the circumstances that I have to deal with in life. So, seeing that it is implied that these circumstances in life are excuses in society’s eyes is kinda hurtful. I wish I didn’t feel that way.